I am writing this to you one day after the Equinox. Yesterday I was crown chakra deep in web design & content creation, preparing for today’s website launch. It felt like I was putting in one last push of enormous energy into reaping the metaphorical crops that I planted in the beginning of this year.
I launched my B&W blog on WordPress in February after an immensely tumultuous time in my (inter)personal life. As I was letting go of relationships that no longer served, I realized I was in a deep process of doing this in every part of my life. It was like a spring cleaning of the soul.
With new space (both within me & in the form of a new home), I began planting seeds of intention and action. Two of these seeds were committing to my writing and my magic. Another was the goal of, by 2018, becoming self-employed. All of these have been manifesting in ways I didn’t think possible.
And yesterday brought the integration of so much I’ve learned along the way.
I love this website a lot. It feels like a cozy online home. It feels honest, it feels raw. It feels like my diary put on display for the world, which is both terrifying and exhilarating. But it sort of feels like, that’s part of my work on this spinning earth. I’ve shared these words on social media before, and I’ll repeat them here:
Speaking your truth frees others to do the same. Empower yourself to be vulnerable. It is the seed of communal rejuvenation.
This declaration is what led me to produce the most vulnerable content I’ve shared publicly yet. To me, more than the new graphics, more than the new tarot offerings, more than the newsletter–this is the most sacred, powerful result of the work I’ve put in over the last year. The ability to be vulnerable enough to share, to be fully me, where before I would disconnect through sarcasm, laughter, or silence.
That is what I am most grateful for this Mabon.
Now, for the main course: Some delicious wisdom from the tarot.
A Tarot Reading for the Equinox
I smiled with gratitude when I pulled The Lovers. After a long season of action, movement, and growth, we have come out of this year’s harvest season with a deep understanding of ourselves. Specifically, what it is we need, what it is we deserve, and what it is we value. When I see The Lovers, it usually doesn’t literally mean two people in a relationship. Sometimes its energy can manifest as finding a soulmate, sure. But that’s just one way the energy of The Lovers shows up in our lives. And hey, maybe this past year brought you that!
On a soul level, though, The Lovers is all about becoming aligned. It’s about becoming whole within yourself, being tender with your own body and heart.
In the tarot, The Lovers follows the Hierophant in the Fool’s Journey. After spending time with the Hierophant, learning your role in a system, learning how to conform and deindividuate to become a part of the collective, The Lovers opens you back up and teaches you who you are as a person. The Lovers helps you find your individuality again. But this individuality is one that is rooted in authenticity, self-compassion and alignment with your long-held values. Not individuality that arises out of rebellion or out of protective instinct.
Loving yourself. This is a powerful, often hard-earned lesson. And I don’t just mean like, mirror affirmations about loving how you look. I don’t mean going out and buying a new wardrobe or taking a bath. Sure, those things can happen along the way (I recommend it, even). But those things are just steps, not the final destination. When you’ve learned the lesson of The Lovers, which this last year has taught us, you have done the deep soul work of identifying what it is you love, what it is you believe in–and then seeing that that which you love is who you are meant to be. That is who you are becoming. That is who you already have become.
In making room for The Lovers’ bounty, we are releasing the energy of the Eight of Wands. This is quite literal with the changing of the seasons. It’s like–ok, autumn has arrived, time to slow your roll and stop expecting that your energy levels will be as through the roof as they are in the sunnier season.
This is an important reminder, especially for those of us who are especially deeply affected by the seasons in the form of seasonal depression. Let go of the expectation that you will be as energetic and speedy and clear as you were in the spring & summer. Acknowledge, accept, and work with this. Of course, it is important to mitigate the effects of mood changes on our lives, but it is easier to live through them if we recognize them as part of a natural ebb and flow rather than evidence of faulty mechanics.
Beyond the changing of the seasons, this card represents what it is we have already been letting go of. As we’ve become more aligned and self-compassionate, we are releasing the expectation that change must happen over night. We are letting go of the need to always be “on.” We are letting go of the belief that in order to be valuable, we must always be productive. That’s capitalist bullshit speaking. And so many of us are in a process of un-learning that.
You do not have to constantly be creating, doing, moving in order to be worthy of life and love.
You do not have to constantly be changing in order to be making progress.
You do not have to constantly be energetic in order to be content.
And importantly, the cards want us to recognize that these Eight of Wands beliefs we’re letting go of–they’re a lot less powerful, a lot less crucial to our soul’s path, than what it is we are inviting in with The Lovers.
What we’re gaining is so much more meaningful and honest than what it is we’re losing.
Equinox blessings, my dear ones.
In love & madness,
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